


Affairs

by sheroars



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Journey, Protect Ellie, Save Alec, Swearing, What else do I write?, uh oh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-08 14:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3212600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheroars/pseuds/sheroars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh no.  Oh no no no.  HELL no. </p><p>Well...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Did- How- I- Where...?

He awoke with a jump and opened his eyes to blinding white light. People were chatting calmly around him and the light was turned off abruptly but his heart was pounding. 

And it felt different... 

Oh God... 

"Lie still," A hand came to his shoulder and pushed him down. His eyes adjusted. Ellie Miller. Hospital room. Two doctors and a nurse were bent over the bed. His mouth was too dry to make words. Notes were taken. They were nodded at. Ellie let out a huge breath and sunk down into her chair. She saw the questions in his foggy eyes. "Do you remember the court room?" 

"Yah," They both winced at the rust in his voice. She reached for a bottle of water and speared a straw into it. "Affair..." 

"They accused us. A recess was called. You took a swan dive down the front steps of the court and passed out. Real helpful by the way." 

"How long?" He closed his eyes. Despite the lights being shut off, it was all too much. 

"You don't want to know." 

"How bloody long?" 

"Two, almost three weeks. It's Wednesday." 

"Fuck..." He instinctively touched his chest. He realized he wasn't wearing a hospital down. He was touching bandages. He looked down. She snatched up his hand. 

"Don't mess with that." 

"They- you-" 

"Your heart fucking heart stopped Alec. You had two attacks on the table. You've been sleeping for days, Jesus, they transferred you here to Bath because the cardiologist in Broadchurch wouldn't work on you- oh pardon me 'didn't have the right credentials'..." He felt it in her voice rather than saw the state of her. She hadn't left him alone. He swallowed. He opened his eyes and made himself look at her. Her baby was sleeping in the push-chair. She was wearing a baggy jumper and jeans. She had dark circles under her eyes. 

"I-" She was gonna cry. She was still gripping his hand. She shook her head. "I'm sorry," A fat tear rolled down her cheek. She gave a half laugh. He squeezed her hand. She gently let him go but leaned on an empty edge of the bed and buried her face in her arms. 

"What did- what did I miss?" He touched his bandages anyway. It didn't hurt like it used to. It was numb. He felt his wrist. His pulse was so calm. She watched him from the crook of her elbow. He resisted the urge to touch her face. Where did that come from? 

"Jo got thirty years. Parole in fifteen. Tom decided to stay with me. Won't bloody talk to anyone but his psychiatrist." 

"Really?" 

"Claire left." 

"What?" 

"She left us both letters. And bluebells. I'm leaving too. Well. Staying here rather. But this is too much. You need to rest." 

"I've been sleeping for...you obviously need it more." 

"You talk way too much for someone who just underwent heart surgery. I'm being serious." 

"Me too." He snagged her sleeve. She met his eyes again and gave a wobbly hint of a smile. 

"The doctor said you're gonna be okay." 

"Yah?" 

"You took the pacemaker surprisingly well. They said you'll live to see Grandkids." He looked pained. "I talked to your daughter." His hand fisted her sleeve and he took a deep breath. "Daisy's a lovely girl. She misses you. She's relieved you're alive." 

"How-?" 

"I have my ways. Once you're back on your feet she wants to come see you. Or you to her. Something like that. How old is she?" 

"Sixteen." 

"Ah," They fell quiet. The baby kicked his feet in his sleep. Feet- Frank- no no, Fred? Fred. That was it. 

"How are you, El?" He whispered. She raised an eyebrow and he smirked. Not Ellie. Not Miller. This was gonna be a fun game. 

"I'm still breathing. Somehow." He released her sleeve finally and brushed her wrist. It was almost out of body, touching someone. It felt like he'd been gone for years. "They're releasing you in three days if you're up to it. I've been renting a house. You can stay in the spare bedroom until you're well enough to travel and drive and shit." 

"And shit?" 

"Mmmhmm," 

"Go get some sleep." 

"Fred's due at school," She checked her watch, oblivious to his pitiful attempt at ordering her around again. It was nearing nine in the morning. He grabbed her fingers. 

"Sleep after that," 

"Was stabbing you in the chest all it took to get a decent human being out? Could have done that myself." He resisted rolling his eyes. 

"Shut up," 

"Don't give the staff any trouble. They've been far too nice to you already." She ran her thumb alongside his and stood. Her absence nearly forced him into one of the deepest sleeps he had ever experienced.


	2. Awake

When he opened his eyes again the room was slightly lighter. The curtains had been drawn. He could see the outline of Ellie sleeping in the recliner in the corner by the door. It looked something that belonged in the maternity wing and she was dead to the world. He couldn't possibly sleep anymore. She must have felt eyes on her because her hand fell from her cheek and she nearly jumped awake. 

"What's the matter?" 

"I feel like I've missed something." 

"Quite a lot," She yawned and tugged her throw blanket up under her arms after stretching. 

"What happened to Claire?" Ellie cracked her knuckles and bit her lip. 

"I was- after they transferred you here to Bath I ran off to get some things I thought I needed, dropped Fred with Lucy. There was a load of flowers on your porch and a note on the counter inside. One for you and one for me- are you feeling okay? You look pale..." She got a dirty look. "Well anyway, it was in her hand. I didn't open yours. I'll bring it to you." 

"What did yours say?" 

"The last bit was none of your business but she told me she was sorry for lying. And she couldn't stay anymore. Not in a place more screwed up than she was. She said I'd understand. Keep you alive. Other things." She shook her head and rubbed at her temple with the heel of her hand. 

"She wasn't scared?" 

"Didn't look like it. There was no sign of struggle anywhere. Lee's still wandering about town last I was there. I don't think he's keen on staying much longer." Alec turned to stare at the ceiling and chew on his lip. 

"Did you quit? Your job?" 

"Yah. They were looking for an excuse anyway." He looked at her again. "Do you need anything?" He grunted something that sounded vaguely like a no. She smirked and closed her eyes again. "They're gonna force feed you real lunch today. Don't be a child about it. It's not half bad here." She got silence and she felt herself smile a real, unforced smile for the first time in a long time. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The quiet wasn't awkward. It was peaceful. 

Her eyes were still closed. She missed out on Alec Hardy looking her up and down and back at the ceiling again, a similar tweak on the corners of his mouth. 

"So Fred's in school?" 

"Some early learning daycare thing Olly discovered." 

"That's good," 

"Yah," The chair was on some sort of gliders because she was able to stand and kick it closer to the bed easily, out of the way of the door as a nurse came in for a check in. 

"Hullo Mr. Hardy." She waved a roll of gauze. Bandage changing time. Ellie averted her eyes but she saw Alec fist the bed linens when the stripping began, pulling fiercely on over sensitive skin. She offered her hand and he took it unthinkingly, biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from shouting at the site of his chest. The doctors had been neat, but it was enough to make anyone's stomach turn. 

"God," He muttered. How had he slept through all this? 

Ellie tried desperately not to cry. The flash of terror that cross his eyes made her own chest constrict. She had to remind herself he was fine now. He was laying right here... 

He laced their fingers and clamped down on her hand, breathing quick shallow breaths as the nurse prodded at the stitches and raised skin. She wiped away smears of blood and dressed the wound again, covering them quickly and blessedly pretending that the man and woman in front of her weren't holding in a shit storm. When the nurse left Ellie had her face hidden against their joined hands and he was regulating his breathing. 

Jesus. 

Fuck. 

"I'm so sorry," She cleared her throat. 

"Shut up," She jumped, ready to be annoyed and angry. He only held her fingers tighter and drew her arm onto the bed.


	3. Unreal.  Just unreal.

They had calmed down considerably. BBC news was on low on the telly. Their arms were nonchalantly twined, hers gently tucked under his, hands shyly laced together still. He had gotten down applesauce and mashed potatoes and mystery meat without glaring at anybody. He was almost feeble. No fight left in the day. 

Bloody hell it was barely half twelve. 

Fred's daycare let out at two and she had half a mind to call that nice little neighbor of hers to pick up him up and keep an eye on Tom. He liked her too. Better than Mum at this point. But then again the young art student with blue hair and four dogs didn't seem the type to rub anyone the wrong way. Maybe the invalid next to her... 

"Have you seen him?" She pulled herself back to the present and followed Alec's glance. Jo's mug shot was plastered over the telly screen. Bollocks. She ought to be used to that by now. It was just a short bit about the sentencing. Another week and it would be old hat. Another two and maybe their names would be forgotten for awhile. 

"He wouldn't sign the divorce papers unless I talked to him." She was leaving on the mattress with both elbows. She dropped her head to her free hand. He let go of her fingers but he felt his knuckles tracing the veins in her wrist in some attempt at comfort. Or encouragement. He was trying. "He asked me to stay. To bring Tom in to visit. I knew I couldn't do it. When I told Tom...well, that's when he stopped talking to me. Right after he said he was gonna toss himself off the cliffs if we didn't move away." 

"So you did." 

"Yah," She nodded. "Trying to." 

"You're tougher than you let on." 

"I beg your pardon?" He shrugged. 

"I used to think all that blubbering and crying was just weakness..." She spoke too soon. Bored Hardy picked fights. 

"Ha-ha." 

"But-" 

"But?" 

"Don't be so bloody annoying. Let me talk. But it just turned out you just cried a lot so I couldn't tell you were a solid copper. Solid human." 

"Why would I do that?" 

"So you could watch me make an arse of myself." Was this the midlife crisis, Hardy style? Or was this really him? Before Sandbrook- before his ex?

"If you weren't mending I'd smack you." 

"For what?" 

"For being nicer than you let on." He gave a half grin and scrubbed his free hand over his jaw and tugged at his ear with a wince, working his numb arm for the first time. 

He released her other arm entirely to grip her shoulder. 

"You do better without me." He meant it as a joke but she shook her head vehemently before getting it and giving away another one of those real smiles. 

"Next time a crisis rolls around I'll keep that in mind." 

"Go get the child." 

"I have a-" 

"Don't come back. Not till tomorrow anyways. How long till they let me go?" 

"Another two days at the earliest. And his name's Fred." 

"I know, I know." She reached for a bag. She looked at him, wrestled with herself for a full minute while sitting on the edge of the chair, and picked up his hand again. Barely a month and so much had changed. So much had happened... 

"I'm glad you're okay Hardy." 

"Same to you Ellie," Damn. She brought his hand to her lips. The back of his hand felt warm long after she left. Was this real? Was a little maiming all it took for the hell to pass over? To get her back to the Ellie he had met almost a year ago?


	4. Not Broken, Just Bent

Ellie had almost gotten used to Tom not speaking to her. He would sit at the dining room table, mechanically going over homework till dinner. He'd converse with Fred. Avoid eye contact with her. She'd gotten in the habit of talking to Fred too. They broke the routine that night. 

"Hardy woke up today, he's doing well." Her eyes were on Fred. He smiled in his high chair and fisted a grape. 

"ALEC," He screeched, having picked that up from Mum at some point. 

"Really?" Tom blurted out. "I thought he was gonna die." Ellie did a double take and fought to stay cool. 

"Yah? Me too." She mumbled, handing Fred another grape. The elder child looked just as surprised with himself. He picked at his mashed potatoes. 

"I got an A on the maths test." 

"That's great." 

Before she could follow up someone knocked on the door. Company. "Hullo Elyse." 

"Hey Tommy," Their neighbor was a few months short of nineteen but a local business owner and almost oppressively sweet. She helped them move in and brought over baking when she had extra. She'd shown her the best pub in town and let her get totally hammered. She's probably the best kind of friend she's had in awhile. The girl plopped a cake tin on the counter and dropped a bottle of wine down in front of Ellie. "Hey Mums, how's is going?" 

"It'll be going great if you grab two glasses and a corkscrew." The teenager flipped out a swiss army knife and grabbed two coffee mugs, giggling since they were the only clean dishes. She pulled a face and blew a raspberry on Fred's cheek while she opened the wine. 

"ELLL!" He bubbled happily, grabbing at stray strands of blue hair that fell within reach. 

"How'd maths go Tom?" 

"A," 

"Knew it, cut some cake will you?" 

"What kind is it?" 

"Yellow. Chocolate icing." 

"Brilliant." Tom dished slices and took his own to the living room. He disappeared in the couch and turned the TV on. He was smiling though. 

"He looks happy," Elyse settled in the chair next to Ellie at the bar in the kitchen. Fred was thoroughly occupied with cake sculpting and eating. 

"What did you do?" 

"Nothing Mums, honest. Markie called me, said your boyfriend woke up." 

"Not my boyfriend. Do you have friends everywhere?" 

"Told you I did." She took a swig of wine and smiled to herself. "Damn I'm good. That was a cheap ass bottle." 

"Good God what did you put in this?" Ellie marveled at the cake. 

"I'll never tell. But seriously, how is he?" 

"Good. Really good." 

"Then why's he got you all teary eyed? Did they mess up his face or something?" 

"Bug off already," They giggled and drank. Fred joined in, shoving icing covered fingers in his mouth. 

"When are you gonna let me make you some proper dishes?" Elyse started in on the disposable dishes. 

"Haven't you got something at the ruddy shop to worry about?" 

"I finished all my paintings for the symposium collective show thingy. Studio's right on track. It's Friday. Got nothing to fuss over but you. Or booze. Both sounded like fun. So here I am." She was a fast talker from America. She had a slight southern twang somehow, despite living here for half her life now. Ellie just smiled and shook her head, sipped on the wine. 

"Can you keep an eye on the boys tomorrow?" 

"Of course, how much longer till they let your man out?" 

"Couple days." 

"Is he gonna stay in town?" 

"There's another bedroom on this floor." 

"If he gets better, and there's nowhere to go- my tenant in the cottage just moved out." 

"Kelly? I thought she was working with you?" 

"She got a string of gigs singing with that cruise line. So there's an opening in the shop if you're interested." 

"I might be," Elyse rolled her eyes. "Pleeeease it'll be so much fun!" 

"I'll think about it." 

"I'll take that smirk as a yes. You can work eight to five Tuesday through Saturday. You can start in the Spring." 

"You gonna pay me?" 

"Hella," 

"With really money?" 

"How do you think I pay my bills Mums? Throwing winks at the collectors?" They laughed again. Elyse cleaned up the kitchen while Ellie tended to Fred. Tom wasn't glaring at her, Alec Hardy wasn't dead, she had a cash flow finally coming in at an American hippie's art shop sometime soon. 

"Thank you Elyse," 

"Thank you Ellie," She walked her friend out to the porch. 

"Are you doing alright?" Her turn. 

"I'm doing just fine. "You're so good to the boys. When I can pay you back, I will." 

"Oh you do Mums. Used to be bloody lonely out here." 

"Can't picture you lonely." She shrugged. 

"Ditto. But we both are sometimes despite it." Ellie had been shunned by her community. Elyse had been adopted. Swallowed up by it. Everyone knew her name here. 

"How do you like people so much?" 

"We're stuck here with each other. Might as well have some fun yah? Tell your boyfriend I said hello. Can't wait to meet him." The idea of Hardy having tea with Elyse struck Ellie as immensely amusing. "Is he a tougher nut than you then? I can fix that." 

"Maybe," 

"Have a little faith Ellie, the world ain't so bad." Tom and Fred were on the floor, Fred was play wrestling. Tom was wrangling around with him, eyes glued to the telly. Brother stuff. 

Maybe Elyse could be right. 

But what if he left?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing till the Broadhurts go away.  
> Tell me what you love about Alec and Ellie or why you'd like to see happen. I'll give it a go.


	5. Crutch

Early morning in the recovery wing were almost peaceful. Almost. Alec was sitting up and there was color in his face again. He was fidgety. 

"Do you wanna try walking? The nurses think you can." She finally got tired of him stretching out his arms and flipping channels and bouncing his legs. 

"Yah," 

"Are you wearing pants under there?" 

"Don't sound so hopeful." She pulled a face and tossed him plaid sleeping pants from her duffle bag. He shuffled to the edge of the bed and palmed the IV stand. It had wheels but it was wobbly. Ellie offered an arm. It took a minute of bracing and inching but he got himself up to his feet, knees knocked in slightly like a fumbling colt. She caught the weight he was ever so carefully bestowing on her shoulder, good arm falling around her back, other out for balance. 

"Good?" 

"Yah," He breathed, conscious of her hands on his hips, fingers gently curling into the hospital gown. "Good," He winced slightly when he tried to straighten his back. They made a lap around his room before resting on the bed. He drank on his own. The doctors were pleased to find him walking with Ellie down the hallway and suggested the garden out back. They made a bee line, eager to escape the overwhelming smells and eyes of the hospital. 

Between Ellie and the IV drip he was walking slowly but steadily. The garden was full of sapling trees and benches and strangely loud birds fighting over numerous feeders and baths. He was panting and she steered him towards a bench. "Sorry," He mumbled. 

"Stop. It's good to see you on your feet again." The air was clean despite being on the edge of a city and a suburb. It lacked the salty tang of Broadchurch. There was something earthier about it. Newer. She sat next to him and reached across to restock the bandages to the IV needle. He subconsciously caught her hand for a minute, squeezing gently. She returned the pressure and held her breath as he fought to find words and let his hand fall to her leg. 

"I'm not sure what's happening," He admitted. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Everything was going to shit. And now its not." 

"Well. I'm way behind on rent if that makes you feel better. And I maxed a credit card for the first time in my life." He smirked and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"But just yesterday I though you were prone to off yourself or someone else at any minute." 

"Really?" 

"Your son hated you. You hated you and me and you were so true to Beth and Claire no matter what they said to you. You yelled and cried. You used to look so sad..." He looked at her pointedly before watching a blue bird come fluttering over their heads.

"Did I?" 

"What happened- how did they get him?" 

"I dunno," She admitted. "I stopped going with your attack. Olly called to tell me. When I went to see Jo he just seemed...shocked. Absolutely shocked. Asked me why I was running off." 

"What did you tell him?" 

"That the affair was indeed ongoing." Alec's chin snapped down so hard she swore she heard it. He must have seen her sneaky smile. She was never good at keeping a straight face. They both laughed. Hard. 

"God- where did that come from?" 

"Nobody that knew you. You can't even run let alone-" 

"Oh bollocks," He cut her off, still grinning. "What were we even doing for two hours?" 

"I uh- I think you watched me cry for about an hour and then spent the other lecturing me about eating and sleeping habits." 

"Really?" He wrinkled his nose. 

"It helped." 

"Yah?" 

"Yah. A regular day time telly script. I'll type it out and send my boys to Oxford." He rolled his eyes and dropped her hand disdainfully. She laughed again. He grabbed her chin and turned her towards him, pressing a dry kiss to her forehead. 

"Satisfied?" He sure was. He might have dropped ice water over her head and gotten a similar expression out of her. 

"The air must be thinner in the country." She stood and helped him up. She slipped an arm around his waist as his fell over her back. They took the long way back in. 

"I mean it...when I say thank you." 

"How much dope are you on anyway?" 

"You know, not as much as you would think." 

"Shame," 

"I'd be much nicer." 

"I don't think I'm prepared for that." Their eyes met briefly and her stomach did a flip. It was her turn to have a heart attack she supposed. 

How did it all change so quickly? They knew full well some tough conversations needed to be tackled. Or ignored. They knew full well there was a lot more work to do. It could wait till Monday though, right?


	6. Headaches

"I don't understand," He threw aside the cheap notecard and took his glasses off like a petulant child. 

"Well I'm guessing the first line is your name and the thing after that's a comma. The second line is probably a-" 

"Shut up," He picked up Claire's letter and scanned it again. It only made him more frustrated. He tossed it aside again. 

"Let me see yours," 

"No!" 

"Don't be difficult." 

"You first," Alec looked ready to implode. 

"Jesus Christ." He messed up his hair and sank into his hospital bed. 

"What don't you understand?" Ellie sat cross legged in her chair, head in one hand, just about ready to leave and let him pout out the rest of the day. 

"She was so bloody scared. And she's gone like that? Something's wrong." 

"I called her last night." 

"Did she pick up?" 

"No. But her voice mail changed. And she's laughing. There are women's voices in the background. If she'd been forced away or scared, I don't imagine that would be the case now would it?" 

"How do you know? She-" 

"Would you just listen for a minute you bloody wanker? I went drinking with her. She was having one night stands with men she met in bars. She was giggling and getting me into trouble. Whatever she was scared of when she came to Broadchurch, I think she found her way around it. In my letter she told me she went to church. Talked to Paul. I called him just in case. He told me she was going home." 

"Sandbrook?" 

"She watched me disintegrate okay? She watched me pack it in and run. Now she's going back. She doesn't want to be like me, scared of m'own fucking shadow now. Don't you get it?" 

"Ellie-" 

"Shut up," They sat in silence. He held his hand out toward her, palm up. She ignored him. He grabbed her bicep and tugged none to gently till she was looking at him. She tried to get her arm back but he tightened his grip. She was too mad to cry now. 

There was a flicker of the Ellie he had left before the coma. The one that yelled back. The one that hoped he drove the car off a cliff and a had a heart attack on the way down. The one that called him a fuckwit. 

The nurses had terrible timing. Ellie excused herself while Alec got a check up. She left her bag. She came back after the room was clear again. 

"You need to let it all go. I'm trying so hard to let go of my old life. To start something new and good. I've got a good start and I feel...good. Stable. I don't feel guilty. I don't fantasize about throttling the people around me or jumping off a cliff and making it all go away anymore. Do you understand that? You need to do that too." 

"I can't just fucking forget Sandbrook." 

"You need to move on. You need to call your daughter and tell her you miss her. You need to get well and get away from the death and the liars." He grimaced and popped his knuckles absently. 

"I'm sorry for upsetting you." 

"I'm not upset." 

"I know you better than that." 

"Then why aren't you listening? Why can't you let them go?" She moved to the edge of the bed. He seized both her hands in his. 

"Why do you care so fucking much? How? I brought so much trouble. So much fucking trouble." 

"Well- you did yell a lot." She pretended to muse. His fingers slipped up her forearms gently, rubbing circles on her skin with his thumbs. 

"We're tainted." 

"Maybe," 

"What are we going to do?" 

"I don't know." She'd never seen him so lost. So pensive. 

"I shouldn't stay with you," 

"Stop it." 

"You just agreed Ellie. We're mucked up and we need a-" 

"A fucking fresh start?" She almost laughed. "There's no goddamn restart. I know. I tried. I just want to try a different way. And I need help. You need help. Don't be so fucking frustrating about it." She wanted to shake him. "Do you need a hug?" 

"What? No..." He took his hands away from her arms for half a second. She smirked. Something in his face change and he sat up, pulling her in. He wrapped his good arm around her neck and let the other cup the small of her back. She went in carefully but he crushed her to his shoulder. 

"Easy on the-"

"Stop it," 

Another bloody doctor walked in. They both bristled. Alec groaned against Ellie's shoulder and pulled away, hands clasped around her rib cage possessively. "What is it?" 

"Five minutes Mr. Hardy, then it's time for one last physical work up." He bashfully shut the door. They both knew full well he was waiting outside. 

"Just one more and a shit ton of paperwork and you're free." 

"Day after tomorrow?" He mused. 

"I'll be back to pick you up- I uh, Tom's first football game is tomorrow and I uh-" He nodded and smoothed his hands over her hips. 

"Thank you," 

"See you then." 

"Yah," She's not sure when she's expecting as she moved to leave. Its sure not him catching her face in his hands. "This'll work," She mumbled, more to herself than anyone else. 

"Maybe so," She reached out to touch his hair, push it off his forehead. She turned her face toward his left hand and a glancing brush of lips teased his fingers. He closed his eyes and she was gone.


	7. Let's Go

He ended up getting held another two days when he had a pulse spike in his sleep. That only made him angrier and in turn, his pacemaker too. The staff wasn't worried, he recovered quickly enough and the machine in his chest was doing it's job. Ellie found it hilarious. 

"Had a bad dream did we?" He glared at her. 

"A rather good one actually." Defending himself further would be even more embarrassing given she played a good part in the plot. 

Tom's school won the football game. He even came to see Alec with his Mum and Fred afterward. 

He spent a day by himself with a crossword book and a paperback she had brought on her way to town to get things for the house. It struck him then just how bizarre it was...moving in with her. How not terrible it sounded. 

Around five on a Monday evening Ellie came around with the head doctor and they both got the aftercare lecture after Alec dressed. His old grey tee shirt and jeans hung just a bit looser but for the first time in a long time he could stand without getting dizzy or loosing his breath. He refused the wheel chair. Ellie shepherded him out like a wobbly toddler. Fred was walking up ahead of them, looking back periodically as if wondering why they couldn't keep up. When he got bored with kicking pebbles off the front sidewalk he squatted and stayed put till Alec was in reach. The baby grabbed his hand and walked alongside him, thumb in his mouth. 

Ellie couldn't conceal her mirth and took out her phone to snap a picture before he could turn around and shoot her another dirty look. 

"Did you park as far away as you possibly could?" 

"It's rush hour," She continued to snicker as Fred tugged on Alec's hand and stomped ahead towards the car. The drive out took about thirty minutes on a more obscure country road. She put the windows down. He looked borderline relaxed as he took in the rolling fields and moors. The house was nestled along with a community of about six or seven others, including Elyse's, on the edge of a thick forest that cradled a lake. Damn near picturesque. Rent was a bit of a bitch for the country well outside of Bath but it was almost worth it. 

The house was two floors and whitewashed with hideous yellow shuttered. The roof shingles needed replacing, an escapade Elyse had been teaching Ellie to accomplish on the weekends, half way completed. The porch was sagging a bit but wrapped around the whole house with a solid overhang from which hung a porch swing. Tom and Elyse were occupying said swing, bent over a massive model plane that was in the early stages of construction. 

"Tom, go help your Mums with the bags, evening you two!" Elyse caught Fred as he bear crawled up the stairs and nearly head first into the screen door. 

"Hey, whatcha got there?" 

"The Spirit of Saint Louis." Tom explained as we took two duffle bags from his Mum inside, "But we're doing in blue instead." 

"Learning something are we?" 

"Loads," He drawled sarcastically. 

"Oi, you like my rambling. You didn't even know about the Lindberg baby did you?" 

"That's America- why the devil would I know?" 

"Anyway-" Ellie wondered how she had exactly ended up the three- well, four children. "Alec Hardy, Elyse Carlson. She lives up the road." 

"Pleasure sir, you look good considering." She shook his hand. 

"Thanks. America?" 

"At some point yah. Get yourselves in, dinner's gonna be ready in minute." Ellie double takes, realizing she had forgotten. 

"Ooooh thank you," Tom took Alec's bag down the hall and he followed. The boy dropped it on the bed and left but Alec was dumbstruck. The room had a huge bay window facing the woods, propped open to let in the gorgeous evening breeze. There was a bed and a half empty bookshelf but the dresser held a massive stereo, a card, a vase of flowers, and above it all hung a massive painting. He ripped open the card for an explanation. Daisy. He smiled. 

His daughter recorded her last piano recital and the performances of her virtuosi friends. They comprised a three hour CD to make sleeping or relaxing a bit easier. The flowers were from her too. The painting was a bright, incredibly colorful take of a photo he had nearly forgotten about. Daisy had sent it to Elyse and thanks to Ellie (whom Daisy found lovely and incredibly sweet) had it rendered into art. Alec's back was to the viewer but his own profile was unmistakable with baby Daisy draped over his shoulder, giving the camera an incredibly gorgeous little smile in the evening light through a kitchen window of some house they had rented for a weekend getaway. Their figures were incredibly realistic. The backdrop faded into serene blues and turquoise shadows. It was the kind of painting that made you smile. Elyse had signed off, almost microscopically in the left hand corner and had titled it "Love you Daddy". The same phrase Daisy had signed the note off with. The had reprinted her phone number with a postscript, demanding a call the morning after he had settled in and called him a git for not telling her about how bad he had gotten. 

A knock on the door made his shoulders jump and a hot tear fumble off his lashes. 

"You feeling hungry yet?" Ellie leaned nonchalantly on the doorframe. "We're having breakfast for supper. Plenty of fruit and oatmeal- but not like that grubby stuff at the hospital. She's an amazing cook." She rambled as Alec carefully refolded the card and left it where he found it. 

"The last time I saw her- she was crying. She kept asking me why I was leaving. Why I hated her. Why I wouldn't get the pacemaker put in." Ellie caught her breath. 

"What did you tell her?" 

"I couldn't say a bloody thing. And I didn't. For months. I didn't think she'd want to hear." 

"Well. You were wrong. She was a bit cross with me at first, calling from your phone." He scrubbed a hand over his face before turning around to face her. 

"I-" 

"Don't talk about it." She cut him off and shook her head. "Food and company if you're up to it," She beckoned him into the living space. Hardy shot a smile at Elyse in the kitchen. She shrugged and smiled back, flipping pancakes off the griddle and onto a huge stack for herself and the boys while Ellie dished some amazing smelling oatmeal out for her and Alec. The table was full of orange juice and fruit and honey and muffins with some rather appealing provisions for the man in recovery. Tom was sitting at the head of the table with Fred, getting the fussy toddler in a bib. 

"Don't you want to eat Freddie?" 

"NO bib." He shook his head, curls flouncing. They nearly covered his eyes and the starts of a baby mullet were piled along his neck. 

"Lord you two need haircuts," Ellie sighed as they all sat at the table. Tom pulled a face. 

"That barber is half blind and the shop smells like something died." 

"I'd offer but I'm still recovering from maiming m'self." Elyse shook her blue hair down her a bun. Jagged edges fell around her shoulders. 

"How the hell do people get haircuts around here?" Ellie grumbled, pushing copious amounts of fluff off Fred's forehead and drizzling a cautious amount of honey on his pancakes. 

"Well, Ms. Marcy does them out of her garage is she's in town but she's been helping her daughter out in London with a new baby. She's not due back till winter. If you don't go to her you do it yourself or drive out to Bath." 

"Damn." 

"I'll do it." Alec piped up. 

"You can cut hair?" Ellie snorted. 

"Been doing my own since uni..." He shrugged as she eyed his hair. He didn't seem familiar with a comb and the combination of wind and hospital beds usually had it quite rumpled outside of court. 

"That explains so much." 

"Shut up," Tom laughed. 

"Oi," His mother raised an eyebrow. He stuffed his face with a muffin. 

So that's how Ellie ended up with a circus on the front porch around sunset. Fred perched sideways on her knee, Tom and Elyse pulling faces and making noises to keep his attention without getting him wiggly, and Alec sitting next to her, wielding the kitchen shears with surprising dexterity. 

"Would you look at that- that's a bear cub that is." Elyse giggled as she swept the remains off the side of the porch for the magpies and squirrels to find. 

"Bloody hell," Ellie turned Fred around. It was a perfect trim, no flaws for her to make fun of. 

"You can eat your words now." She would have expected dark circles under his eyes and exhausted lines on his forehead. He was just smiling smugly and chucking under Fred's chin to make him laugh. 

"Tell Alec thank you." 

"Tanks Alec," He dropped the h but patted the man's leg. 

"You gonna use those on me too?" Tom eyed the scissors warily. 

"Nah, got better stuff." The two of them went inside. Elyse took Alec's spot and scooped up a suitably worn out and well fed Fred. He ran his fingers through his short hair and struggled to keep his eyes open. 

"Okay, that was fucking adorable." 

"I'll let you have that one." 

"All those horror stories you told me about him..." 

"Believe me, I'm just as shocked. Thank you again, for that painting." 

"Did he like it?" 

"He loves it." 

"Good. I'll put Freddie down and be on m'way. I stocked your kitchen and stirred enough oatmeal for a week." 

"You're a blessing Elyse." 

"Give me a ring if you need anything else Mums." Ellie followed the steady buzzing of hair clippers to the first floor bathroom. She peaked through a half open door. Tom was bent slightly over the sink while Alec fixed up the hairline across the back. The scissors did come out, only for two snips to get hair out of his eyes. 

The only thing that shocked Ellie more than having Alec in her house, giving her sons haircuts (seriously, who could make that shit up?), was the fact that her son was making conversation with him. 

"So can you feel it- the pacemaker?" 

"Sometimes, when I've just woken up or if I'm breathing too hard." 

"You gonna live?" 

"Awhile longer. That look alright?" 

"Yah," He scrutinized himself. "Did you think I did it? When you brought me in to the station I mean." 

"No. Never." 

"Did you think it was my Dad?" 

"Not then." 

"Did you want it to be him?" 

"No. Definately not."

"Are you monitoring us or something?" 

"God no. Your mother is just too kind for her own good."

"Yah?" 

"Aye." Ellie backed up and pretended to have just walked past when the door opened. Tom strutted past nonchalantly. "Thanks Hardy." With that he was upstairs and off to lock himself in with x-box for the night. 

"Wow." 

"Did I earn my keep?" 

"For a month and then some." She shook her head, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms. He mirrored her on the other wall. He looked almost younger but she could see the exhaustion starting to hang from his shoulders now. 

"Burnt out?" 

"Nearly," 

"I'm on the other side of the living room. Your medication's in the top drawer of the dresser..." She nodded back towards his room. He pushed himself off the wall and stood in front of her. 

"Thank you." 

"Thank you..." They fumbled at the same time and then pulled faces and dropped eye contact. He ran the backs of his fingers up and down her arm. "See, this is what it's supposed to be like." 

"In house haircuts from your boss?" 

"Ex-boss." She corrected. "I mean...you're not supposed to go to bed dreading the next day." 

"That's a welcome change." He agreed. "Listen, the uh, Doctor said I should try taking longer walks-" She met his eyes again and was almost startled at how bright they were.

"There's a real nice trail out back, all the way around the lake." She blurted out. "We can give it a go tomorrow if you're up to it, after I get the boys out to school." She ran her fingers over his collarbone, dusting at imaginary lint. He bit his lip and nodded. 

"Sounds good." 

"Night," 

"G'night." There was a moment where they both seemed to go for a cheek kiss at the same time and then though better of it, ending up even deeper in each other's space. He squeezed both her hands instead and brushed a warm kiss to her forehead, longer than the first, as she squeezed his fingers back and slipped away before they said something embarrassing and screwed up the moment. 

Neither quite knew what the hell was happening. There were still so many questions to answer... 

It didn't stop Ellie from feeling a little bit warmer as she got to bed and it sure as hell didn't stop Alec from falling asleep that much faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm obsessed with forehead kisses.


	8. Come and Rest Your Bones

Alec somehow, miraculously in Ellie's eyes, slept through the chaos of the morning. Tom missed the bus so she drove him, dropping Fred with Elyse who would gladly take him to daycare on her way to work and bring both of them home once she got off. She pulled back into the house about seven thirty and found him standing in the kitchen, brewing some bizarre herbal tea the doctor had recommended and taking his pills. 

"Hey," 

"Hi," She smiled tiredly, pulling a banana off the bunch on the counter. He stood at the window and the world woke up quietly, fog wrapped around the woods and kept it that much more peaceful. 

"I see why you came out here." He observed quietly. 

"I never thought I'd get tired of the beach. But I did." She tried his tea. It was terribly plain and she wrinkled her nose and dumped her mug. 

"Aye," 

"I nearly lost Fred in there when we moved in. Tom took his eye off him for five seconds...almost had a stroke when we found him stalking a rabbit just inside the tree line." 

"When Daisy was little, I bought one of those baby leashes..." He smiled to himself. "Just shaking it around in front of her got her in line so fast." 

"Lord. Fred would be tripping me everywhere." Ellie mused as she searched for trainers. She'd gone in sock feet in the car. She found her red converses. It clashed a bit with the jeans and purple tee shirt but she went for it anyway. "Ready?" Ellie grabbed a couple water bottles and his medication and slipped it in a drawstring backpack with her phone. Just in case. Alec double taked and smirked. She looked like a Mum ready for a zoo outing or something. Then he realized what that made him... 

"Yep," There was a back door off the kitchen and another little porch that held on to past tenant's cigarette smoke. The morning was achingly nice, much like the previous evening. Ellie led the way. A rather sizable log marked the entrance of the wooded path. She mounted it and offered him a hand. He rolled his eyes and negotiated it easily with his much longer legs. She huffed as he plowed ahead. 

That lasted for all of about ten minutes. He slowed down considerably and caught his breath, letting himself look at the surrounding environment. 

"Don't strain yourself." She chided, handing him a water. 

"Don't mind me." He took it and caught the hand attempting to feel his forehead. She grabbed his fingers and their palms met. Much to her surprise he kept the hold as they continued to walk. Fred always held her hand, no question. Tom begrudgingly nowadays. Jo- nearly never. He was an arm around the neck kind of guy. Suffocating. Even when they were happy it bothered her, unless it was cold. It made her skin crawl just thinking about it. His forearm pressing against hers brought her attention back as they continued to walk abreast a narrower part of the path. 

He was breathing a little harder through his nose and leaning into her arm a bit more, just a gently touch. She squeezed his hand and paused. They'd been going pretty steady for twenty minutes, much longer than he'd tried at the hospital without breaks. 

"Need a minute?" He nodded. "Maybe we'll try again int he afternoon?" He nodded again, words escaping him as he closed his eyes and fought a little vertigo. She brought her other hand up and lightly touched his stomach, a few inches under his stomach. "C'mon, get the air down past my fingers." He swallowed and did as he was told, breathing under her hand. It took a few minutes. She slipped her out of his enough to feel for the pulse in his wrist and waited till she was satisfied with the rhythm. "There we go." 

"Shit...where did you pick that up?" She took her hand away and let him take it, winding his fingers around both of her hands and letting his eyes adjust to a not spinning landscape. 

"I used to get real bad panic attacks." She admitted, freeing one hand, leading him with the other. After a few steps he changed his mind and dropped her hand reaching around her back and for her hip. He couldn't get his knees to stop shaking. She followed suit, copying their hospital strategy and feeling her stomach flip as his thumb caught her belt loop. It took twice as long to get back but she didn't mind at all. The log was a bit of a longer adventure, as were the porch steps. "That was good." She concluded as she got him back in the house and more water in his system. 

"I think- I need to lie down a minute." 

"Go for it. I'll be out here." He furrowed his brow. 

"Would you mind...staying?" She nodded and followed him down the hallway, he used the wall to balance himself. 

"You're really bent on this sleepover thing aren't you?" 

"Do you ever stop talking?" He laid on the bed and she sat against the headboard. She swallowed her jittery compulsion to babble about something to fill the silence in. Never in a million years would she believe she'd be in such a position with him if you had told her a month ago. "Why'd you get panic attacks?" 

"Why wouldn't I?" Touché. She breathed deeply and knuckled her eyes. "It was dreams mostly. I used to- right after the arrest I mean...I saw myself beat the shit out of Jo. Then I started dreaming about finishing him off. Make him feel what I felt. Wasn't healthy. Saw someone about it..." He knew that part. "Got rid of the dreams, still wake up feeling panicky though." He felt much better lying down, felt his body relax and drop the tension from exertion. The headache was fading. 

"I know the feeling." 

"Skeletons in your closet?" 

"Aye," 

"You're always afraid of being on the water. When you were sleeping of your surgery you talking in your sleep a lot...something about how you couldn't breathe, couldn't see-" She prodded gently. He just nodded. Almost, but not yet. "You've been much more agreeable lately," 

"Have I?" 

"Fred's taken to you. Elyse though I was lying about you." He smirked. 

"I'll keep that in mind." 

"I'll tell her to stop cooking." 

"Low blow," She grinned and rolled her wrist in her hand till it popped. They meandered back and forth with the teasing till he dozed off. 

She woke up an hour or so later, on her back next to him. True to her word, waking up, even after a nap, made her breathing falter and catch painfully in her throat. He had heard her earlier though. The back of his hand was resting gently on her stomach, just below her sternum. It must have looked bizarre from any other vantage point but she fought tears. Breathe. 

Just breathe. 

He hadn't gone anywhere yet. She slipped her hand around his and turned to her side. She watched him sleep a moment before grabbing the throw blanket and covering him and easing out as quietly as she could, turning off the lamp and praying to whoever was listening that she was doing the right thing, letting herself care so much more deeply for him than she had planned.


	9. Bonkers

Alec was almost disgruntled when he woke up alone. It took him a minute to register the setting, he was tucked up in bed and he felt rested. As normal, for the fuzzy stage between fully awake and dozing he was conscious of the new weight inside his chest, of something laying against the organs inside. It disappeared quickly and the panic was squashed by a baby's laugh and the light music emanating from down the hall. He followed it. 

Elyse and Ellie were sitting on the floor with Fred. Elyse had a small guitar or ukulele with which she was plucking little ditties and humming. He hovered in the hallway at the chance to hear Ellie Miller sing. Fred clapped his little hands in time. It was a sickly sweet image and he didn't wanna poison the moment. Tom came down the stairs and shot him a bemused look as he walked past and joined his family. 

"Done with homework already are we?" 

"Can't get a thing done with your caterwauling." 

"Well- he did his vocabulary cards then." Elyse giggled. Fred pouted that the music had stopped so she started again, giving off a jazzy rendition of some pop song he vaguely remembered Daisy singing at a talent contest once. Some artist with one name- ah Adele or something. Crazy for you. Fred seemed to know some of the words and accompanied the musician while falling back on his mother. Alec sucked in a breath and joined the gathering, taking the arm chair behind her. He didn't escape her notice. He could see her ears turning pink. He smirked into his hand. Elyse intruded. "Ello sir, how's the ticker?" 

"Ticking. What is that?" 

"A ukulele. Stole this off an old boyfriend ages ago and I still can't bloody play it." Fred stood up and wrapped himself around his mother's neck, giving Alec a chubby faced smile and a little wave over her shoulder. Alec waved back. Ellie tickled his ribs and he gave a gleeful shriek. Tom flopped on the couch with a bowl of cereal, ignoring his mother's raised eyebrow. 

"What happened to the airplane?" Ellie prodded. 

"It's in m'workshop. We can finish it up before sup, if the sourpuss is up to it." 

"Sure," He shrugged. He finished his snack and the two of them departed. Ellie turned to lean on the couch and monitor Fred's playing while being able to see Alec. 

"Feeling better?" He nodded and pushed hair out of his eyes just as she had the urge to do so for him. Fred started humming to himself as he clicked legos together and rolled onto his back, waving his creation up in the air and making spaceship sounds. They watched him for awhile. "Up for some tea and toast?" 

"I'll help yah," They took up their tasks in the kitchen after Ellie put on some cartoons to keep Fred still on the couch. It had a hypnotic effect on the toddler. It was all a bit too peaceful, sitting side by side at the bar, knees knocking occasionally. 

"Did you ever ring Daisy?" 

"Bloody hell, I forgot." He checked his watch, half three. 

"Go on then, she's expecting." 

"Thank you-" One might have expected a verbal follow up. Thank for for reminding me- Thanks, it nearly escaped me... 

Definitely not his hand slipping around the back of her neck. Definitely not the quickest, lightest kiss she'd ever been given on her lips. Definitely not his smile as he flipped out his phone and wandered down the hall to connect the call. Ellie blinked rapidly. He must have missed or something. 

Oh no no no. HELL no. Shit. 

Well...wait... 

Her stomach flipped like a teenager. Fred shrieked at something on the TV and laughed his bubbly little baby laugh. 

"MUMMA! Mumma look!" 

"I see," She smiled too. 

Elyse and Tom returned for dinner about the time Alec had finished talking to his daughter. The model plane was bright blue as promised and about as long as Tom's arm. They had a nice and quiet meal. Tom locked himself upstairs directly afterwards as routine. Elyse hung out a bit longer, teasing Ellie and helping clean the kitchen. After she left for the night, Fred was yawning so Ellie shot Alec a smile and took him down to the nursery. 

She didn't notice him follow her back towards he room, where Fred was staying in a crib still. Still too little for a room upstairs it seemed. Through a peak in the nursery door he spied a bit of the nightly routine of getting the squirmy kid through a face washing, teeth brushing and sleep clothes. He settled down the minute the nightlight came on through. 

"Night night Mumma." 

"G'night baby boy." 

"Wuv you." 

"You more." 

"No no." 

"Yes yes." 

"One more," 

"That's five hugs more than last night Freddie." 

"One and a half more," He bargained sleepily. Ellie shut the door behind her and almost leapt out of her skin when she found Alec waiting for her at the end of the hall, pacing a little. She held her ground as he pushed into her personal space, some sort of mission spelled out on his face. She let him brush her arms lightly before dropping his hands away from her entirely and kissing her square. His kiss was warm and fast. Friendly even. She felt the warmth sink all through her body as he pulled away. 

"Night Ellie," Her fingers caught his tee shirt. 

"Alec-" He couldn't restrain himself much longer. He dropped his forehead to hers, still not touching her anywhere else. "We shouldn't be- the doctor said you-" She faltered as he finally brought his hands to her sides and pulled her hips to his. His mind was racing in all the best ways. She hadn't pushed him. Or looked at him like he was bonkers. Or sworn at him. Or said you. She said we, including herself in this 'and Mr. Hardy, no sexual activity for the next two or three weeks, just a precaution' proviso. He'd slept through half of the customary wait time. 

"Quite a few steps you're skipping Miller." She bit her lip and dropped her eyes almost shyly, feeling tears threatening to make an entrance on a moment she figured might have been a bit inevitable now, with the path they had been navigating lately. He moved again, touching his lips to her neck and stroking the backs of his fingers down the curve of her hips. She shivered and fisted her hands in his shirt, letting her eyes close. Here they go. Like some scripted fucking telly show. 

"I'm going to check your dope dosages in the morning." 

"Shut up," He kissed her again, a bit more slowly, catching her bottom lip between his and leaving her a bit more breathless than himself. "Will you walk with me tomorrow?" 

"Yes," She answered dumbly. He slipped off, turning off the living room lamp as he returned to his own room. Tears slipped over Ellie's cheeks but the feelings bubbling up weren't angry or sad or frustrated. That was new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I even doing anymore? xD


	10. Tell Me

Alec couldn't sleep. Not after napping nearly all day. He took a shower at four in the morning and noticed that the stitches in his chest were starting to dissolve and his skin wasn't as dry or irritated as it had been in the hospital. Progress. 

He listened to one of Daisy's piano recordings and channeled her voice, her giggle as she picked up the phone. 

"How's school?" 

"Pretty shit," 

"If they let you talk like that..." 

"Shit's not a swear." Back and forth like they used to. She had been angry though. Angry for not telling her about the operation. Angry because she'd figured out her Mum pretty easily when the new boyfriend came into the picture about two weeks after he'd left. 

Just before sunrise Hardy took a book out to the front porch. He was almost surprised when someone joined him, just as the first streaks of light brushed the horizon. Ellie rocked the porch swing lightly, sitting cross legged next to him in her pajamas, handing him a glass of water. His book was forgotten. She had to be teasing him now- wearing plaid flannel pants that were most definitely a few sizes too big and a sleeveless white shirt that showed her arms, a part of her he could say he had most definetly not seen. He was slightly obsessed. He took a long drink and tried not to let on how pleased he was. She knuckled a sleepy eye and let her leg fall against his. 

They kept quiet for a good while. After the previous day's discoveries they probably deserved it. They were getting good at not talking, at accepting what was there and relaxing into the moment. As dawn broke over the house and they could see each other better, they smiled. The sun just kept rising. No matter how bad it seemed to get...

Apparently Tom was in charge of Fred in the mornings. As he went to catch the bus at the end of the road he brought the half asleep toddler out, fully dressed, tiny backpack strapped to body. 

"Have a good day Tom," 

"Yah," He gave a nod and was off. Ellie bit her lip as he disappeared from site. 

"And there's the extent of our communication for the day." She sighed. 

"Have you tried anything else?" 

"No. Not yet. He scares me." She smirked to herself sadly. "It's better than just ignoring me. He tried that awhile." He dropped his arm along the back of the swing as she kicked off again, tickling at Fred. 

"Mornin' Mumma." 

"Morning Fred. Did Tom get your breakfast?" 

"Yep!" As if to emphasize the fact, he smacked his sticky fingers together. "Today at school- did you know Mumma? Today at school is master-piece day." He pronounced carefully. 

"Are you gonna paint for us?" 

"Just like Elyse?" 

"Elyse!" Fred agreed with Alec. Ellie smiled. Said girl came walking from up the road in a pick up truck. Her dark blue hair had a bit of a purple tinge in the morning light and her overalls were covered in paint, hanging off one shoulder. She was a regular hippie all right. She took a seat on the porch and opened her arms to Fred, who delivered his news again. 

"You know the best way to paint Fred?" 

"You gets a brush and you color." He almost rolled his eyes wrong. She should have known obviously. 

"Wrong!" The little Miller looked offended. 

"How'd- you paint with-?" She waved her fingers around in front of his face. He giggled. 

"YOU paint with your fingers?" 

"Sure do," 

"That's CRAZY Elyssse." He whined and wrinkled his nose, chastising her. 

"Alright then. We'll see who's most right. Tell Mum and Alec bye." He waved both hands after climbing up Elyse's side like a tree and getting himself astride her shoulders. 

"Bye!" 

"Be good," 

"Neva," Elyse rolled her eyes. "Take it easy you two." Fred was strapped into a child seat in the back and they were off and everything was quiet again aside from the creaking of the swing. 

"Wanna try for the lake again?" Ellie suggested. 

"Sure," A change of clothes later and they started out again. He took it slower and gave himself breaks. The continued quiet between them was nearly meditative. In half an hour they were standing on the banks of a massive lake. There was a dock around the bend that made for a nice sitting spot. He took one look at the water and knew he couldn't hold himself back any longer. 

The moment she met his eyes she felt her heart thud. "I wanna tell you something." He said it so definitively she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. 

He gave avertable testimony about Sandbrook. He told her about Pippa. About finding her body and nearly drowning. About the rain and the water and the dreams that haunted him since. As he talked it out she said nothing. She let her hand touch his back. He took in a shaky breath and rubbed at his jaw. 

"And Claire and I-I did make that mistake." And suddenly there it was. Alec's cards on the table. "The next week I collapsed at work for the first time. I had been diagnosed a month earlier but that was the first time I-" He halted and shook his head. "Fucking karma or something." 

"I-" He looked at her again. The lake lapped against the doc stilts gently, still a good distance below their muddy shoes. 

"I don't want to confuse you Ellie." He concluded. She shook her head. 

"I've been confused since the day I met you Alec Hardy." He raised an eyebrow and became intensely aware of the movement of her fingers over his back. She snickered and rested her head on his shoulder. "What are we doing?" 

"I dunno." He admitted, turning his face and nosing her hairline. Both their hands twined against his leg. 

"I used to think you were an alien." 

"What?" A gruff timber returned to his voice. He lifted his head. She couldn't help smiling. 

"You couldn't have been human. Not back then, when we first started working together. Well- up until-" She touched his chest. He shrugged. 

"I used to think you were a silly small town fool like the rest of them." 

"And now?" She teased. 

"The only one I trust." He didn't hesitate. She smiled her agreement, squeezing his fingers and bringing them to her lips. 

"Somewhere out there...the fates are laughing at us." She looked out at the tree line along the opposite end of the lake. 

"Maybe so," He dropped one hand to lift her chin and drop another kiss on her lips. The scratch of his beard made her tingle. "This is a really bad idea." 

"Think we're too fucked up to get it right?" He laughed lightly, just enough to startle her. It struck her that she'd never heard him laugh before. He contemplated the water below them while running his thumbs alongside her fingers. 

"I don't let things go." She snorted. He shot her a look and she focused. "I've always been bad at letting things go. I couldn't let Sandbrook go. Not Broadchurch. Not you." 

"Yah?" 

"Yah," She pressed a long kiss to his cheek and rested her brow against his temple, blinking back tears. 

"Don't you get bored?" 

"Not usually."

"It might take some time." 

"What else have we got to do?" 

"We butt heads a lot." 

"Would you rather I knit or something?" 

"I've got kids." 

"Me too," She shrugged. 

"I'll give it a shot. Seeing as you're so keen that it..." 

"Don't spoil it." He kissed her head and fought to remain in control of himself. 

"Are we gonna be happy though?" 

"Arn't you tried of crying yet?" She smacked his arm. 

"You're unbelievable." 

"Whatever you say Ellie Miller. Whatever you say." 

"I should have put a pillow over your face in the hospital." 

"Then who would you talk to?" 

"I'd get drunk with Elyse every night." He gave a conceding expression. Viable option. She pulled away from him to lean back on her hands, yawning in the morning light. It took him a good ten minutes to figure out how to stand up on his own, refusing her hand up. She rolled her eyes and headed back towards the trail. He caught up and slipped his fingers into hers. "So what happens next?" 

"Do you wanna know?" 

"Not really." She decided. So here they were. 

Hardy and Miller. 

Former Detective's Club part two. 

"Are we still gonna yell at each other?" 

"Maybe a little." 

"Are you gonna smile more?" 

"The day you stop asking me incessantly stupid questions..." He brought her hand to his lips. She elbows his side. He pinched her wrist and dropped her hand. "Keep up,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all fluff and I apologize.


	11. Brightsides

Elyse moved to England with her mother when she was ten. Mum had big dreams about Oxford and Elyse still wasn't done laughing about that. All that traveling they had done when she was younger only made her want out of school, certainly not in again. As soon as she finished a two year community school business degree she moved out, colored her hair for the first time, and opened her own way with her college fund. She called Mum faithfully every Sunday morning. 

There had been plenty of loans and three stores and a small tattoo shop since then, all running strong. She never imagined a chain but she got bored and didn't have the heart to sell out so EC Studio Arts were tucked inside London, Liverpool, Bristol, and now here in Graveling, a tiny little suburb of Bath that brought in the quiet type of tourists and hipster vagabond types. All her shops were two story buildings she renovated and painted bright red. The first floors were art stores, supplies and works of local artists galore. The second floors were wide open for classes. Drawing, painting, photography, and whatever anybody really wanted to do in the company of like minded acquaintances. 

Not bad for a little girl from Louisiana that couldn't tell you a lick about Daddy or what she would be doing tomorrow. The nineteen year old hadn't a worry in the world. 

Aside from Tom Miller though, one nasty afternoon. It was raining as he came into the shop, hood drawn up. He gestured upstairs. She nodded and finished her chat with the little old man perusing sketchbooks. She left the fourteen year old she had just hired behind the register and followed Tom, closing the door behind her. 

"What's up T-Mill?" He collapsed into a beanbag by the window. 

"Will you proof read something for me?" 

"School or business?" He shot her a dirty look as she sat cross legged in the window seat. 

"Personal." She scanned the handwritten letter and nearly choked. She was not expecting that. 

"Tom-" 

"Don't you dare tell Mum." 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" 

"It's better that way. Don't you see? Mum just started acting herself again..." 

"You so better give her a hug tonight." 

"Will you mail them for me?" 

"Them? Like wait there's more?" Tom handed her another envelope. She read it and nodded. "This is good." 

"Promise?" 

"I promise. What else can I do for my main man?" 

"Can I stay up here?" 

"Yah. I'm heading home in two hours. That's enough time to get your homework done right?" He pulled another face. 

"Yah." 

"Good. We'll mail these together." Elyse went back downstairs after stashing the letters and sending Ellie a text to let he know she had her eldest child safe and indoors from the coming storm before going to pick up Fred from masterpiece day. 

It would be hard to not spill the beans on this. Twelve year old Tom Miller had written mighty powerful letters to Beth Latimer and to his father, setting the record straight, and saying goodbye to the old life. A polite stay away. A quiet list of accusations and respective absolution. Defending his Mum. Himself. His brother and everyone who had helped them. The kid who barely met his Mum's eyes and had passable English grades. 

Who knew? 

With all the sass and righteous chastisement and iron sided determination she had heard in his mother's voice since the day they met. 

Across town, back towards home, Ellie woke up to the text and swore internally. She should have gotten to get Fred. A crack of lightening and thunder disturbed the quiet and made her jump, rolling over of her back and waking fully from her nap. She checked the time on the phone and her email while she was at it. 

"Damn," She whispered hoarsely. 

"Shut it off." Alec yawned, trying to doze off again. 

"We need to find a new hobby." He grunted and ran his hands through his hair. It seemed like years since he slept so often and he was bent on catching up now. 

"You and Tom should do something." 

"Sorry?" 

"I dunno, take him out for fish and chips or something. I'll stay here with Fred." She felt for his pulse instinctively. He smacked her hand away playfully. She laughed lightly and sat up against the headboard. 

"I don't think he'll go with me." 

"Wouldn't hurt to ask. Say you're going with Elyse and ask him along. Always worked with Daisy." She'd seen so many new glimpses of him this afternoon. It made he head spin a little bit. He was born in Aberdeen and spent most of his time growing up and going to school in Glasgow. He had a sister like her. Daisy came first, marriage came second. He enjoyed museums and movie theaters and hated bookstores. 

Ellie turned on her side. 

"Might as well try...are you really volunteering to be with Fred?" 

"He's not so bad." 

"He's loud. And wiggly and if you yell he'll cry." His fingers found hers. 

"Mind Thomas." She turned on her stomach and propped on elbows next to him. 

"All those razors you brought and not a one on your face." He raised an eyebrow. She bent down to kiss him and stopped herself halfway. He caught her chin in his hand and connected the dots. 

Jesus. 

You couldn't have guessed he was so good at this.


	12. Shush

Surprisingly enough, Tom didn't need much convincing to go to dinner with his mum. As he went upstairs to dump his backpack she shook her head and marveled. Alec smirked at her from the couch, where he was stealing Fred's nose. The child panicked, felt his face, and shot his beard companion a suspicious look as he kept hold of his little nostrils with both hands. 

And so one of the nicest nights in Ellie Millers life unfolded. 

When Ellie and Tom got home in was half nine. He dropped his her hand for the first time in an hour and whispered a goodnight. She whispered it back and stumbled into the kitchen. She needed a drink. The house was dark and quiet. She chugged half a glass of wine and did her best not to laugh into the coffee mug she was drinking out of. A few tears slipped down and landed on the rim. 

The light above the sink flipped on and she almost had a heart attack. 

"Fuck- Alec..." She wiped uselessly at her face. 

"Hullo," He squinted and leaned on the counter. His hair was messy and there were creases on his cheek from falling asleep on top of sheets. "He's out." He explained. She smiled. 

"You too apparently." 

"He's like the bloody battery commercial...with the bunny?" 

"Yah," She took another drink. 

"How'd it go with Tom?" 

"I just..." She managed to stop crying and set aside her alcohol. "Really well. Really really well. And I wasn't expecting that. Didn't even have to bring Elyse. We talked. Nothing heavy or anything, but like, about his world you know. We both apologized for being shit family." She turned and leaned on the counter across from him. "What did you two do in here?" 

"Just some decorating." He gestured to the fridge. There wasn't a hint of the stainless steel surface anymore. It was completely papered with brightly colored scribbles and violently colored paintings. Ellie smiled again and bent to take a closer look. Fred painted every occupant of the house, plus the house and his best friends. Himself. Mum. Tom. Elyse. Alec. 

"God he is so cute." 

"He's a good kid." She raised an eyebrow at him. He smiled softly. 

Damn it all to hell.

She took a step towards him. He strode forward and caught her face in his hands, mouth meeting hungrily. She gripped his forearms and stood up on tip toe. If she had any reservations about this new direction, any at all, they were definitely derailed for the time being by the feel of his tongue against hers. 

Oh fuck. 

She just wanted more. She looped her arms under his, fingers knotting in his tee shirt against his shoulders. He backed her up two steps. She felt the wall behind her as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss. 

Oh God oh God oh God. 

There was a poor excuse of a separation to take in a breath before he tilted her chin up for a different angle, running his fingers down her neck and grazing the sides of her breasts with his knuckles. She rippled against him and nipped his lip. He grunted and pushed back, palming her hips. As she felt the pleasant buzz of arousal wrap around her she felt ready to burst in his arms the minute he pressed his hips into hers and started a teasing rhythm that had her- Oh shit- wait... 

"Alec-" She broke the kiss. He pecked the corner of her mouth and continued his maddeningly lazy wet kisses down her neck, burning her with his beard. She couldn't tell if he was moaning for her. Fuck, probably both of them. When did they get touched like this these days? "Alec we gotta slow down." He paused in the crook of her shoulder, panting lightly in time with her. The minute he opened his eyes he was dizzy. She felt him wobble. She grabbed his wrist and earnestly felt for his heartbeat. It was faster than normal but calming, much like her own. She breathed out a sigh of relief as he wobbled to the cabinet to take a pill and a glass of water. 

"Shit," He felt a headache beginning to knot in his temples. Cautious hands slipped around his waist and a cool kiss against his shoulder. 

"Sorry," She whispered. He shook his head and gestured to himself. "Do you need to lie down?" He shook his head.

"Give me a minute." He turned around and scrubbed his hands over his face. 

"How are your-?" Before she could finished her question he had turned and lifted his shirt. His stitches had completely dissolved now. His skin was no longer pulled tight and bunched around the wound. The scars weren't red anymore. The scabs were nearly healed. She tugged the hem down again. 

"Almost there," She whispered, tugging the hem down and taking his hand. He looked down at her fondly and touched her cheek. 

"Almost there," He repeated. He pressed his lips to her forehead. He looked far too amused. 

"What?" 

"Nothing-"

"Seriously?" 

"Nothing...it's just..." He ran his fingers over a spot at the base of her throat. It stung. He laughed lightly. 

"You sonuvabitch, is that a hickie?" She went to the hall mirror to inspect her neck. Sure enough, just above the collar of her tea shirt, was a purple bruise. He appeared to have gone at it in two directions, giving it a vaguely ironic heart shape. She stared at herself in shock. She hadn't gotten a hickie since she was a teenager. Jesus. "You've got to be kidding me." 

"Well- you weren't exactly complaining." She smacked his arm as he joined her. 

"Unbelievable!"

"Shush-" He gestured upstairs uselessly. Kids. She grabbed his arm and led them back to his room, shutting the door behind them. She sank onto his bed and buried her face in her hands before dissolving into laughter. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. She went to check on Fred and came back to talk, wearing a shirt that definitely used to belong to him and jogging shorts that definitely were a flattering length on her. He laid next to her with his arms still crossed, desperately dying to control his body. 

Yet when the lights turned off and she slipped an arm around his waist, whispering a goodnight against his cheek after kissing it in preparation to leave, he couldn't help catching her again. 

Asking her to stay. 

She held her breath. This could be the turning point. 

So she did. 

She rested easily on the other side of the bed, his fingers tracing her back under the tee shirt. She dozed off in the middle of a whispered argument about the relevance of libraries in a digital age or something like that. She vaguely remembered kissing him again, wanting to stay awake to talk a little longer. Tasted like a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up: next chapter gets a little smutty-ish kind of. So if it's not your cup of tea there will be nicer epilogue.


	13. Uh Oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again- this chapter is a bit M. Whoops.

Ellie contemplated inevitability when she woke up at dawn in Alec Hardy's bed with his fingers creeping up the inside of her thigh and his mouth on her neck. 

Man plus woman. Insert B into slot A. Inevitability. 

Meeting him for the first time over a bed body. Trust like ice on a lake. Working well. Sarcastic assholes club. Arresting her husband. Former Detectives Club. Trial. Trials. Grief. Sandbrook. Broadchurch. Inevitability. 

How could something like that be left to chance? Meer coincidence. 

"Holy fuck," She nearly doubled over on his hand, seizing his forearm. She counted the tendons and muscles rippling under her fingers as he stopped her mouth, swallowed her sounds, making her breathe deep and slow through her nose. Alec. Alec. Alec. He moved from her side to straddle her leg, more pressure. God yes. 

Something Lucy mentioned flickered through her truncated thoughts. Oh Harder Hardy. A dry laugh bubble up. He grinned against her neck, continuing his skillful ministrations between her legs. She raised her hips against his. He grunted. 

She used to quietly rebel against those ideologies so fervently preached by the wheel of young minsters she had seen in Broadchurch on Easter and Christmas. Free will and sacrifice and shit. 

But goddamn there had to be some higher power at work here, to put her where she was right now. Alone in the world with this man. Two kids. A bonkers neighbor. In debt. Fresh out of therapy. 

As the light in the room turned from blue to grey she fell apart, hard and fast with her face hidden in his neck, arching as he let out a prolonged groan, biting on his lip to tamper his own cerebral strike of pleasure. They stilled. 

He removed his fingers from her knickers as she pulled him down for a significantly slower kiss, whimpering gently underneath him. "Are you-?" She whispered. 

"More than satisfied," He sheepishly muttered, kissing her long and well, tilting his hips away from hers and trying to contain further mess. They were both a disheveled, sweaty disasters, clothes still on and stuck to their bodies. 

Could it happen any other way? 

She felt for his heart. He barely blipped above normal. 

"Morning." She sighed, almost shyly. 

"Morning." He shook his head and smiled again, rubbing her hips gingerly till she could sit up. They quietly went their separate ways to clean up. 

The sun was just about up when he found her tucked in the corner of the couch, half hidden under a throw blanket with her legs tucked underherself, nursing a cup of tea. The news was on low on the telly. He sat on the middle cushion and casually pulled the edge of the quilt across his lap. The massive blanket covered them both. Their eyes met and they smiled weakly. There were tears in her eyes. Hardy and Miller weren't here anymore. 

Just Alec and Ellie. 

Ellie transfered her pillow to his lap, lying down on her side, one arm curled around her head and the other clutching his arm to her waist. They were both shaking a little bit. They had a blissful two hours before Fred started whimpering in his bed and a telly came on upstairs. Saturday morning. 

At ten Elyse let herself in with groceries in hand. She found Fred playing on the floor in front of cartoons and Ellie sitting on the kitchen counter while Alec did dishes, the two of them talking quietly over tea. 

"Morning all," 

"Hey," 

"G'morning," They snickered. All three of them were in lazy track pants. 

"How's the patient?" 

"Never better," He got out of the way as Elyse grabbed a plate and started boiling eggs and unwrapping breakfast stuffs, taking out her own homespun dough and readying a pan for fresh bread. The girls tosses ideas for Saturday back and forth, mainly getting the boys to spend the day out the house. 

Elyse couldn't help noticing Alec's restless fingers tapping back and forth across Ellie's legs. She kept her cool. 

She nearly lost his shit when she peeked over his shoulder to read an email on his phone with him from his Doctor, an obvious struggle without his glasses that were obviously sitting on the dining room table. 

Ellie was so fucking lying about him. 

"First checkup on Tuesday then." Ellie concluded. Alec nodded agreement. Elyse snapped out of her ogling and put the bread in the oven, clapping flour off her hands. Fred toddled into the kitchen with an empty sipcup. Ellie slipped off the counter and replenished his apple juice. Tom joined awhile later, looking absolutely exhausted, willing to talk football highlights with Alec and Elyse. Ellie slipped Fred into his highchair and tried not to get weak kneed. She sank into a chair to hide it. 

Alec and Elyse bumped about cutting fruit for him and Fred. Tom was smiling before noon. Her sweet little baby was clutching her fingers and sipping juice and trying to figure out how many pancakes he could weasel out in place of yogurt. 

She guessed you could call it a prayer- God don't let me mess this up.


	14. The Affair is Ongoing

The Doctors were pleased at the first checkup. And the second and the third and the fourth. She had told him once that there was no such thing as a restart button. He could have argued that. 

Six months brushed past in a blink. 

Ellie started working again. Elyse's shop was really picking up with the festival and tourist season. The trade shows brought in all sorts of artists and this year plenty of them stayed for much longer than usual. She couldn't recall having such a laid back, rather enjoyable job. And the pay was perfect. And no more suits. 

She loved the fall nights, especially like tonight. Leaves of every color were raining down from the oaks that framed Main Street. She walked down the road to Fred's child minder, one of the little ladies than ran the daycare held the children of working parents in her home till quitting time. Ellie locked up at seven and had a sleepy little Fred in her arms at seven fifteen. They worked a bit later on Fridays. But Elyse worked Saturdays and Ellie took Sunday afternoons. He bubbled on about his day as she walked back up the high street to the car park. Fred dozed off in his car seat on the way home. 

Tom had settled in really well. He came in near the end of the semester but his summer holiday was full of football and skating around the park. He had a whole team of friends by the time school started up again and a pretty girl as the background on his phone. He refused to talk about her. 

Ellie had the windows down as she sit the country side and as she passed Elyse's house, all lit up with an October Halloween party. A band was going on the porch and a campfire in the front, a handful of American friends come to visit. Elyse waved, dressed like a seventies hippie. Tom was there too, probably binge eating inside with his crew. 

Ellie got Fred through a bath and into jammies. He was settled in his own room upstairs now. Painting day was the highlight of her week, Elyse and Tom and Alec with a radio blasting and more yellow paint on them than on the walls. She hadn't had the heart to wash the splattered jeans yet, or the rather large handprint tattooing the back pocket. 

Fred requested two stories and fell asleep in her lap after the first. She lowered the guard rail of his first big boy bed and tucked him away for the night. The house was quiet. The wind buffered the trees outside. She poured a glass of wine and settled down in the study. Alec's room had practically been converted into a library. The bed was downsized and a desk was added. The painting of Daisy was still on the wall. This would be her room during the Christmas holidays. 

Ellie liked the window seat. 

Alec got home around eight. He found her easily, dropping his coat and tie. He was policing in Bath and going a pretty damn good job of it. No more homicide though. He was head of missing persons. Children to elderly, lost to taken. Cold and fresh. He'd cleared ten cases in two months. 

"Hey," 

"Hi," He went to the dresser for a change of clothes. He pinched the bridge of his nose and put his glasses on as he stood over her, nudging her shoulder. Without taking her eyes off the page she slid forward and made room for him. He swung a leg up and leaned against the wall. She fell back against his chest. He was always in a particular mood after court. Quieter. Softer. She finished her chapter. 

"How'd it go?" He closed the book over his thumb to peak at what she was reading. Blindness. Jose Saramago. Good read. He stole a sip of her wine. 

"Good," He ran his fingers up and down her arms. She'd discovered he was a rather handsy person. He had fidgeted in his pockets for so long it had escaped her notice. He wasn't shy about touching her. She was still processing that. First couple times made her jump out of his skin. 

Elyse affectionately referred to him at the emotional fucktard behind his back. He hadn't changed a bit in the words department. And of course the two of them had butted heads a dozen and a half times over nice dinner about trivial politics and law. "How are you?" 

"Good," He snaked an arm around her waist as she rubbed her eyes and bookmarked her place.

They had discovered a way to be quiet with each other. No urge to fill silences with small talk. 

Domestic fucking partners. It made her smile. Better together in a household than at work. 

"They're doing the fireworks down the road." 

"I heard some earlier." 

"I though I saw Tom on the roof with sparklers." 

"Oh God-"

"There was girl dressed like a pirate. Must be mystery girl." She smirked. 

"Should have known." He moved to slide the window up. RnB guitar snuck over the tree line. "What is that? BB King?" 

"Yah,"

"They played this song at my Dad's funeral." One kind favor I ask of you. See that my grave is kept clean. He hummed into her ear. Over the course of the few months they had lived together, they dropped information like that. If they were gonna make this work they might as well start to know something about each other. 

"I tried to take up guitar in uni." She snorted, getting the image of a younger douche-ier version him. That guy. The guy with a guitar at parties. 

"Where you any good?" 

"Hell no. I could drum though..." 

"Bullshit." 

"I'm serious." 

"I don't believe you." 

"Tom wants to learn." 

"Is that a challenge?" 

"Take it as you like." She closed the window and wriggled out of his grasp. He snagged the hem of her shirt and followed, dragging his lips across her neck. He cornered her against the wall outside her bedroom. Well...he slept there too. 

"Does this count as a happy ending?" He asked in the gap of a kiss. 

"You are a thick sometimes." 

"Only sometimes?"

"I'm happy. You?" 

"I'm about to be..." Fred screamed from upstairs. Alec groaned. 

Ellie snickered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin. 
> 
> Thanks for the lovely words!  
> Leave some thoughts and suggestions and junk.

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh.   
> Broadhurt I mean Broadchurch.   
> Send help. 
> 
> Drop some suggestions and junk :)


End file.
